Princess of the Night

Every girl's wish is to have a chance to wear a perfect gown and even a tiara. A perfect night to dance with Prince Charming or even the King and 16 other knights in shining armor. The perfect night to see your best friend and even the queen along with 16 other princesses wish you the very best life has to offer. Every girl would trade anything in this world to have that perfect night.

I grew up in a family where number of girls were dominant than the number of guys. My mom had 5 siblings. She had 2 brothers and 3 sisters. Growing in a family where tradition is followed, I saw how my mom and titas (aunts) celebrate their 18th birthday debut. While Spanish culture celebrate the transition of childhood to womanhood at the age of 15, Filipino Culture celebrates it at 18. I recall seeing pictures of my mom where you can really tell it was taken from way back then because of this crazy hair-do she had. There was also a picture of her dancing with my Lolo (grandfather) and her brothers that's all dressed up in their fancy clothes. My mom also had a picture of her with my Lola (grandmother), her sisters and her closest friends. Everyone who was important to my mom's life was there. It was just perfect.

Seeing how perfect it was made me want to want what she had. I remember telling her that I wanted to have that kind of moment too. I know until now that having that party is my ultimate wish. Year after year, my parents ask me what I want for my birthday. And until now, I still remember telling them "wala po, ipunin nio nalang para sa debut ko (nothing, just save your money for my debut)." I was aware that throwing that kind of party isn't going to be cheap. 14th, 15th, 16th birthday came by fast. When my 17th birthday came, I couldn't help but count the remaining 365 days 'til I get to experience my perfect night. When November of 2009 came, I couldn't believe what I heard.

"We might be leaving next year for the States." From that moment on, I just froze. I didn't know if I should be happy or sad. This was the family plan ever since i was 3 yrs. old. By the time I graduated high school I was so ready to leave my life back home. But having to spend 1 year in college, having the chance to meet new friends and knowing that I had to leave them just broke my heart. It was just months before I celebrate my 18th birthday. The big night is almost in reach. All my life I did nothing but plan this soon to be perfect night. I had my best girl friends to do my 18 candles and my best guy friends to do my 18 roses. Everything was set. January 26th of the year 2010 came. All I could do was cry. All the planning that I did came to waste because we had to start all over again. 

April 30th, 2011. My supposed to be perfect night. A night where I wear my perfect dress, dance with Princes and kings, and hear wishes from Princesses and Queens. All of it gone. 'Til this day, I wish to have that perfect night. I envy every girl who got the chance to experience this magical evening and will continue to envy them for the rest of my life. They had what I wanted. They had what I dreamed of. All i could do is hope that my wish still comes true, if not for my birthday-my wedding night will do. :') 

photograph

Justin, a photographer, was having a shoot at a park. it was a sunny day, perfect sky, lighting was good and there was nothing but cool air. h walks around the park taking pictures of what he could see as art. and when he comes across the playground, he spots a girl playing on the swing. her head was tilted down as if she was looking at her feet swaying back and forth. her hair was layed down and was parted on the left. the other half of her black flowing hair was tucked in behind her ear and with this we could see her face. she was partly smiling and singing with the song that was playing on her ipod through her white earphones. "it was a perfect scene to capture." he said to himself. so, he sneaks in, crouching over one knee on the ground and steals a couple of snaps of her. then, a ball hit him in his head knocking him off balance. he turns around to see a kid walking towards him to say sorry and get the ball he was paying with. when he turns back to the girl, she was gone.
when he got home and scanned through the pictures he was taking, he couldn't help but stare at the picture of the girl on the swing. he just moved in the city so he didn't know a lot of people. the next day came and he saw her at the same spot, earphones and ipod on her, smiling while singing with the song that was playing. still, it was a perfect scene. as he was looking at her, he tries to remember if he saw her somewhere or if he just thinks he did. as he was stealing more pictures of her, Chris comes and said hi to him.Chris is a long time friend who lived in the area for most of his life. Justin was supposed to ask Chris if he knew the girl on the swing and he turns around back to the girl, she was gone.
three , four, a week and a month passed, he sees this girl on the same spot with the same perfect scene. at this point he already had a ton of photos of the girl without even knowing her name. so he decided to go and talk to her when he sees her again. the next morning, there she was again. and as promised Justin came up and asked her name. Hailey was her name. they talked for a while then Hailey said she had to go coz it was getting late. then after that day, they began seeing each other at the same place. after a while of getting to know each other, Justin found himself falling for Hailey. the day came where he had the courage to tell her how he felt.
there she was, sitting on the same spot with earphones on her and singing with a song. when Justin was walking towards her, he bumped into Chris again. he really wanted Chris to meet Hailey. but when he turned to see where she was, she was gone again. but this time he really wanted Chris to see her, so he pulled out his camera and showed the pictures of Hailey to Chris. as Justin was full of smiles and joy, the face of terror and shock was in Chris. Justin asked why he acted that way and asked if he knew Hailey. Chris then said yes.
Hailey was one of his friends. she loved to play on the swing while listening to her ipod. she was a very jolly person. a lot of friends always surrounded her. everybody liked her. but a month before Justin moved in, she died. she was diagnosed with cancer. they did everything to make her better. she even had an operation, but unfortunately that didn't end well. Chris and Hailey were best friends in high school. Hailey was always telling Chris that one day she would meet the love of her life on that swing. she was always saying that she'd meet her "destiny" here. that was the reason she always wanted to be there.
the next day, Justin didn't see Hailey anymore. Justin asked Chris to go where Hailey was buried. they went there then Justin pulled out a gift in his hands. an album full of Hailey's pictures on the swing and a note from him.
"I'm sorry for taking pictures of you without any permission. i hope its okay. you're beautiful Hailey..
yours truly,
your destiny..."

-end-

ABCD.

Why is it so hard to love someone?

I always tell everyone that they shouldn't be scared to love
and get hurt.
It's a package isn't it?
Love isn't like a cellphone, or a laptop or a gadget that has
1 YEAR GUARANTEE.
When you fall in love, there is NO GUARANTEE that it would work out
PERFECTLY.
There will never be a GUARANTEE when you love someone that it will always have a
HAPPY ENDING.

Even fairy tales don't make LOVE STORIES that easy.
Yeah, there's a happy ending.
BUT if you look at it...
there's still a lot of challenges that you have to face before you make it to the last page with a kiss.
there's the WICKED WITCH or
STEP SISTER or
even the BIG BAD WOLF.
there's always that CONFLICT in the book
that makes the PRINCE and PRINCESS part ways.

So what I'm saying is NO ONE should ever be scared of falling for someone and getting hurt.
it comes with the package.
every TEAR
every HEARTACHE
every TISSUE you use
will be nothing when you find that someone
who's NOT going to promise to not hurt you..
but DOES his best not to make you cry.

Soon the time will come you'll find the one who's going to hurt you not just once or twice or maybe a few times more...
but all the pain will be worth it when he says that he WILL love you FOREVER....

R.I.P.

He hurt me. He left me bruises and scars. He killed me.

Everyday I think and look back at the times when we were together. happy. smiling. enjoying each moment we shared together. But it hurts me. Because all of that was yesterday. Your laugh and your smile always made my day. The feeling of my hand touching your face, the warmth i feel in every hug and the connection i felt in every kiss. It was all lost. it hurts- like a knife. Ever heart beat we shared was music to my life. the way you say those words, became he reason for me to live. and now. Now that everything is lost and gone. Now that all i feel is hurt and regret and pain and sorrow. Those words that gave me life- those same words that made up every breath that i take, are the same words that took those breaths away.

The day that you made that mistake isn't the reason I'm dead. But the every single memory that i still keep. The way that i look at the stars and remember you and me searching for that falling star that would make our wish come true. too bad. There wasn't a single star that fell. Too bad for us..

and now, from your heart, --- i leave. goodbye.

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Have you asked yourself what if you can't hold or kiss or hug or touch the person you love, can you still love them? What if that person isn't always there when you need a tight hug or a shoulder to cry on or an arm to punch? What if he or she is in a far away land, so far away from you? Can you still love him/her?

Its hard to love someone knowing that that person isn't in front of you. Its hard to show them how you truly feel. They say 55% of communication is body language, 7% is tone and 38% is words. so if you loose 55% try to remember there's still the 38 % where you can make them feel how much you love them. Some relationships might not work, but there are still some that might. everything is worth trying right? and some are worth fighting for. Don't let physical distance be a big obstacle that will stop what you truly feel. Isn't that how love is supposed to be?

"Love has no distance baby."-a song once told, its true right? Love has no distance, it knows no distance not time. Its only our bodies that is apart, our lips that don't touch, our hugs that don't reach, but it is never our hearts that love. Love knows no form, nor body, just feelings and heartbeats.

 

our hearts beat as one

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what if dreams came true?
what if until the end it was me and you?
what if tears and hurt didn't exist?
what if everything was just pure bliss?

what if i haven't met you?
what if i haven't said i love you too?
what if i did make a mistake?
what if we didn't learn to forgive?

what if i didn't blow you that kiss?
what if i didn't say what i feel?
what if i gave you that hug...
and whispered i miss you?

no more what ifs- just i miss you too.

My Valentine

Haven't you ever wondered why people celebrate Valentines day? Back then, I told myself that I didn't want to receive flowers from a guy 'coz its just something temporary. and, probably because i just didn't want to bring flowers wherever i go. LOL. But after awhile, i saw myself getting jealous of the girls who receive flowers from a special person. May it be just an ordinary day or maybe Valentines Day.

Flowers and chocolates are just temporary things in this world, but what i learned is that these temporary things makes us happy, makes me happy. Today is the day after Valentines day- just another Tuesday, right? but mine wasn't. After Communications Class i went down the building to meet up with a friend when suddenly a guy steps in and gives me flowers. I didn't know who that guy was so it surely gave me a bit of a shock. so here's how it went...


Guy : Somebody wanted me to give this to you.

Me : uhm...

Guy : Bryan ?

Me : WHO?!?!

Guy : Bryan Santiago.

"Nothing's ever too far, nothing's ever too late,

for two hearts that beat as one and is truly brought by fate."

-SS

P.S.
thanks to the friends who helped.:)

Adventure

The past few days was very random and exciting. I got to meet new friends at school and made new adventures with them.

It was supposed to be a trip to town square to get a cup of coffee but after seeing the newly built Cosmopolitan Hotel in the Las Vegas strip, me and my friend decided to change where we were headed. It got more crazier when we made the wrong turn and headed to the wrong hotel parking lot. so, no other choice but to walk to the other hotel. I wasn't really expecting to see much inside that hotel, and when we got there. i saw nothing but casinos. So much for that! but the trip and the stroll along the strip made the day. Being a tourist in your own land was fun and funny.LOL!

The second adventure was at Mountain's Edge in the southwest part of Las Vegas. It wasn't just a Monday. it was valentines day when me and 3 other friends decided to have a crazy day. Heartbroken + single + "it's complicated" + LDR = a.long.walk.up.a.big.and.steep.hill. it was the highlight of the day. after a long and tiring walk, we finally arrived at the top. the scenery was breath-taking. seeing las Vegas from that part of town was just spectacular. Its really something that i want to do again.

Getting to meet new people along the way is a very nice experience. new people= new adventures. and i'm soo looking forward to another adventure with them.

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Sometimes the things you hate the most are the one's you miss when its gone. You'll never know that even the slightest thing, good or bad, has its own worth. May it be a person or a thing, it has it's worth.

There's always that thing that just makes you crazy. There's always that person who always gets you ticked off,  There's always something that just makes you say " i hate this! ". You always want the thing you hate out of your life, right? There will come a point where you'd do everything just to make that thing vanish. but did you ever think about what would happen if it was gone?

I know what your thinking, " what a relief! ". Well, it is, but somehow you'll feel that there's something missing. A point will come where you will still think about what happened to that thing or person. And sometimes, even the thing you hate leaves footprints behind. 

You will realize..

you'll miss what you hate.

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You say that you always want to love someone better than the person you loved before, but have you ever thought that no one is made exactly alike? We're different kinds of people, different in every single way possible so how can you compare 2 different things when even at the beginning the were never the same? 

They say that maybe its in front of you- but you're just not seeing it. try opening your eyes to the world around you.- To how everything changes constantly.-To how one second it's yours and with just a blink, its gone. Don't let judgment take chances for true love away. 

See beyond what your eyes can conceive. 

See with your heart and not with your eyes, for there you'll see where true love lies.

(c) Robert Torres

 

Lazy Day-Z

Thanks to @SarahNice and her awesome compliments, I'm ready to blog again! LOL!

Well this is my first entry for 2011. My last entry was like about a month ago.:| Anyway, lets make this one another new year's resolution! "make an entry every week". whew*! I hope i can do that.

Today was such a very very very lazy day for me and my friend. Well honestly its already a lazy week for me. My body just wasn't working properly and that goes with my mind too. ugh. I had to go to school early today to finish some org works so i had to wake up so early to get there early. when i arrived at school probably around 8:30 am, I started what i was going to do. I'm sorry but I'm not a big fan of Mac Computers so i kind of had a bit of a problem early today. what a fresh way to open up my morning ain't it? LOL!

After my work I had to go up to my class when a VERY VERY GOOD friend called me up and told me to take a break and eat out. Unfortunately, my teacher was kind of a bit boring. boring teacher + friend asking you to eat = do the math.LOL! After eating at Jolibee we went back to school and hung out in the library. After a while, i figured that i wasn't supposed to be there because i was too noisy so we went to another building and killed time there. 

With everything that happened, we still felt SO LAZY. I dunno about him but my mind was SO NOT working the whole day. bummer much? i just can't believe that after this gruesome day, I'm still not asleep. 

We'll as they say, that's VEGAS! - out.

New Year 2011 ( with Camille )

Lazy Day-z ( with Chris )